I repeat, REFRESHER student not a
REPEATER. I am taking my REFRESHER COURSE now. Actually, it is not mandatory. I don’t know. But a friend of mine told me that he didn’t took this course when he had his leave of absence. By the way, I had my leave of absence for a year due to a medical condition. Now I am back, my academic coordinator told me
DAY 1: September 16, 2014
Happy birthday to me!!!!
hahaha! Supposedly, my first day would be yesterday but since due to suspension
of classes, it is moved today. As I walked through the corridors to look for my
room, I was already thinking about several things:
>>>>> Will they be nice?
>>>>> Will they talk to me?
>>>>> Will they accept me on class?
>>>>> Will I be behaving normally and appropriately?
>>>>> Am I going to be nice?
>>>>> Am I be able to talk to them?
>>>>> Will they be nice?>>>>> Will they talk to me?
>>>>> Will they accept me on class?
>>>>> Will I be behaving normally and appropriately?
>>>>> Am I going to be nice?
>>>>> Am I be able to talk to them?
Things have been running on my mind. It feels like, first day on college when I was in first year was better than this time. That time, no one knows each other. We just start making out some new friends, asking for each other’s name. But today is completely different! They know each other already but not me! I met some of them before. I even have some close friends but it is still different!
And now I found our room! I took a peek of someone I know inside. I was looking for Vince if he's already there. He's the closest friend I know inside. I have known him already since he was first year and gradually we became close friends. He's isn't around at that time yet. OMG! I saw them! They are busy preparing for their case presentation and here I am staying outside of the room while texting a friend and asking where he is. Actually I am also praying that time, that someone will accompany me to go inside of the room. Suddenly, Hannah called my name! “Ate Junels!!!!!!” THANK GOD! Answered prayer! She ask me to go inside and of course I come with her. They are all staring at me! With my eyes that cannot see, but I know they are all staring me! (oops! Lines from VENGEANCE IS NOT OURS) haha! But literally, they are staring at me. I wonder what were they thinking about? Someone asked me if I will be their classmate. And I answered her that “YES I AM, I WILL BE YOUR CLASSMATE FOR ONE AND A HALF YEARS” Then after few conversation with her, I look for a good spot to sit. I stayed with my classmate who accompanied me to go inside. I was observing them. They were all busy. I can’t just sit out there. I should do something! I decided to help one group in preparing their props and other stuffs. Luckily, I brought some of my office materials which helped us on that. Presentation started. I was amazed by their performance.
They presented
lively. I just can’t prevent myself from comparing their presentation from ours before
but of course I shouldn’t because they are different. I was shocked when all
groups were finished presenting with in 2 hours! During our time before, we actually
consume almost an hour for one group only plus another hour for the defense.
There were lots of differences from ours. But I guess, it is already that way
and I can’t change it. |
| MEET MY SOON TO BE RLE GROUP 4 From Left to Right: Vince, Maise, RA, Rizza, Benedict, ME, Hannah |
I was thinking about my RLE group or my duty group. On what group will I be joining soon? There is a group which comprised of 6 members only and the rest of groups comprised of 7 members. So I guess, I can feel what group I will be joining. It’s RLE Group 4! I am so thankful when Vince introduced me on his group. He even told his group to join with me on lunch.
 |
| THANKS FOR WELCOMING ME IN YOUR GROUP! :) |
 |
| PICTURE WITH SIR FOJAS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIR!!From Left to Right: RA, Rizza, Hannah, Sir Fojas, Maise, Benedict, Vince, ME |
I had a great time during Day 1. No discussion yet. But of course, even if I enjoyed being with them, I can’t change the fact that I miss my former section. There were times that I am thinking about them; what are they doing at the moment? How are they? But I guess, things happen for a reason. This is only my Day 1, more days and stories to come. I hope I can be able to get in touch with my new classmates on my new batch!
DAY 2: September 22, 2014
Lecture day started today.
I decided to leave our house early as quarter to 7am. I don't want to be late.
I don't want them to stare at me while going inside the room and looking for a
comfortable place to sit. When I
was in the elevator, I am thinking about several things again like
“Where
will be our room?”
“Will
there be quizzes today?”
I know I am over thinking
again but I just can’t refrain from thinking several things that can’t happen.
I know I am sort of pessimistic person but I have to overcome this! And now I
am in the 4th floor
already. I saw several students. I am beginning to see my future batchmates. I
asked one girl where I can find the room of BSN 3-1. Luckily, she’s my
classmate. She accompanied me to go inside. I am sitting at the last row where
I used to sit before. I just find it comfortable. Later on, my classmates have
been arriving and the class started. My professor saw me and asked to lead the
morning prayer. As I walked through the aisle, I can feel that they are all
staring at me. As I look on their faces I can read what’s on their mind!
“Who
is that girl?”
I was just trying to avoid
that feeling and started to lead the prayer. Minute had passed and I came back
to my seat. I asked one classmate of mine if she has a seatmate and I was so
glad when she answered “No ate, tabi ka na sa amin” (No, you can sit beside us). She’s so nice! Let us just call
her Jeanne (the correct
pronunciation according to her is JAY-ANNE). That moment, she’s the one
I usually talked to. People I know in the class were quite far from my seat! So
I have no choice but to talk to those near to me. I am so quiet at that time.
Listening to the lecture of our professor about Diabetes Mellitus.
Most of that
time, I was daydreaming. I was imagining our class set-up before. I remember my
former classmates. There are times that my mind would say “I can still remember
her/him sitting there”. Yes! That room reminds me of my classmates before. That
even if I closed my eyes, I can still picture out my former classmates sitting
in our room. I just missed them so bad! My former classmates now are seniors
already. They are occupying rooms few steps away from us. It was just a block
away!
I feel handcuffed and restrained on my seat. I can’t show them the real me! It feels like, I have to be cautious on my actions because they might misunderstood or misinterpret it. It feels like I feel so alone. I know I have several friends already out there, but you know that feeling of “I FEEL BETTER WHENEVER I AM WITH MY SENIOR FRIENDS”. I don’t say that my classmates now aren’t nice. They are so nice and very approachable. It is just way different.
I thought I accepted this thing already but I realized it’s different in actual. Of
course I have been with my former batch for 3 years!!! And one year to go, it
is supposedly my final year but here I am joining different batch.
IT IS
HARD TO LET GO OF SOMETHING YOU USED TO HAVE!
DAY 3: September 25, 2014
Today was our UNIT TEST day! It went well so far. Some part of the test was hard maybe because I have different notes from them but well, all of my quizzes, unit test, term exams, and attendance are not recorded. But I guess no effort is wasted, only time.
During lunch time, my
senior friend Jazmine asked me to have lunch with her. Unexpectedly, other
close friends of mine were also having lunch. So Camille and Anya joined with
us during lunch. I was at their room that time. We talked a lot but time isn’t enough.
I told them how I am going through in my class. I told them how hard it is to
be their new classmate. I missed them a lot! It feels like it was just
yesterday when we were just classmates. But now things have changed.
When I returned to my
room, actually I was late because they were already starting. My academic
coordinator/professor formally introduced me to class. I was really nervous
that time. I don’t know how to respond. I don’t know how to introduce myself to
them. I was frightened. But then, it was just introducing myself. It isn’t a
graded recitation. That time, when she introduced me to class and even introduced
myself to them, it feels like my handcuffs have been gradually loosened from its
tightness. It was a great feeling. I overcome one of my fears that time.
She’s already part of my prayers now. She even told me that she wanted to be a lawyer one day because she is more on logical thinking. I know she’s a very smart girl and nothing can stop her from achieving her goals in life. It is just her hands that has a problem, but not her skills, thinking and attitude. Lord may you
guide her always. Thanks God for this opportunity. I can say, 3rd
day went better than yesterday so far!
DAY 4: September 29, 2014
I have now the courage to go inside the room even though most of my classmates are already there. But of course I don’t want to be very complacent on what’s happening. I just decided to go with the flow.
Remember my seatmate
Jeanne, I nominated her for “20 Facts about You” and she answered me! Here is
her post:
During this day, I also
found a new friend. Her name is Angelique. We talked a lot. Sadly, she sits infront
and I am sitting at the back. During breaks, we usually talk about random
things. One time, we took a picture while Jeanne was sleeping. She’s so cute
when she sleeps because she’s still smiling.
DAY 5: October 1, 2014
I thought I have no class today. I thought I will be at my house whole day but
unexpectedly, Jeanne texted me that they will be having lecture after lunch. Well,
I should still be going to school because I have some papers to be fixed. So I decided
to come in class. I just don’t want to waste my time. I was really sleepy
at class! I slept at 2am because I was expecting that I won’t be having class on that next day because I thought it will be intended for evaluation exam and simulation for
them. Well, I should not expect too much next time. I came to class. I reviewed
some notes but my professor told me that I can no longer take her quiz.
YES!!!!!! Because honestly speaking I didn’t review my notes on her lecture.
Well,
technically speaking, though I take quizzes or exams, it is not even recorded! Imagine,
I study to pass them all though I know at first it is not recorded. Most of my
friends told me why I am taking this seriously. Just like in terms of LOVE. You
did everything. You have given everything. But you get nothing in return, even
him. Even if at first, you already know you will never have him. To end up this part, there was a joke given to us (Ara) by Jeanne in the middle of the immortality session of the class.
Jeann: KNOCK KNOCK!
Us: Who's there?
Jeanne: Swan-Ganz
Us: Swan-Ganz who?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Jeanne: SWAN...... twenty one GANZ....
ONLY NURSING STUDENTS WILL GET THIS!!!
Lord, thank you for this chance. I know you put me on this for a reason. Thanks for my classmates who made me smile for the past 5 days, that despite the fact that they don't really know me that well, they still manage to talk to me and trying to know things about me. Bless them Lord.
One thing I learned from being a refresher, aside from the lectures I learned inside the room, is that I SHOULD GIVE MYSELF A CHANCE; A chance to meet other people, a chance to know them better, and most especially a chance to let them be now a part of your life. Things happen for reason. God puts me on this situation for a reason. Maybe it may look fuzzy and abstract at this moment, but time will come, I will understand why these things are happening to me.
Sometimes I have to move forward because if you will just stay in place, you will miss lots of things. You will gonna lose the chances to see better things. This is just my plan and not His plans. I believe God has better plans for me. Now I am starting to adjust and accepting the things infront of me.
Currently, I am enjoying the company with them. But of course, I should not forget those people I met from my former batch, most specially those who really put a mark in my life. I should be very happy for them because they are already graduating. Atleast for 3 years of my life with them, I experienced lots of things. I experienced sadness, depression, happiness, and euphoria.
Currently, I am enjoying the company with them. But of course, I should not forget those people I met from my former batch, most specially those who really put a mark in my life. I should be very happy for them because they are already graduating. Atleast for 3 years of my life with them, I experienced lots of things. I experienced sadness, depression, happiness, and euphoria.
Now it's time to give myself a chance to meet new people and make friends with them. I know it will gonna be hard but I believe, I'll get through it. I'm going to surpass this!
Lord, thank you for this chance. I know you put me on this for a reason. Thanks for my classmates who made me smile for the past 5 days, that despite the fact that they don't really know me that well, they still manage to talk to me and trying to know things about me. Bless them Lord.
Your new classmate,
SLENUJ
No comments:
Post a Comment