LOVE versus INFATUATION

Everyone of us has given a capacity to love and be loved in return. 
Sometimes we mistakenly define infatuation as love or vice versa. Both are strange and indefinite emotion; both shows and manifests desire. We just have to be aware of the difference of these two. But how can we tell whether one's in love or simply infatuated?

Based on one article I have read, INFATUATION has been defined as the "emotional impulse of love". This usually comes first before you encounter the real love. On the other hand, LOVE is defined as the "strongest above all emotions". Nowadays, the distinction between the two is lost on youth.

So here I made 13 distinction of love and infatuation based on my own observation, learning, and personal experiences.


1. Love centers to one person but infatuation tends to be felt to different persons at the same time. 

You can only feel that real love to one person. If it happened that you both love them, then it's not love, it's infatuation. Because if you love one person, there will be no greater than him/her. You don't have to choose because at first love is not made to be an option.

2. Love develops slowly but infatuation is always at first sight. 

There is no such thing as love at first sight. Love is not like a thunder that will easily strike on you. It develops. It nurtures. Love generally develops over time. Feelings that develop over time often lead to genuine love and a long & lasting relationship. Infatuation on the other hand, comes instantly. Easily comes and easily go.

3. Love is affection but infatuation is lust. 

Love is passion. Love sees both inner and outer beauty of one person. It is an intense care and affection towards one person. Infatuation always stem from physical attractiveness. Love is a stronger feeling than infatuation. Just to remind you all, let love be always greater than lust. Love can always wait for the right time. It is more passionate and romantic if you have sex with the person you love and not just with the person you desire or simply one night stand. Love controls physical contact but infatuation explores it. Love takes time but infatuation is instant.

4. Love is unconditional but infatuation is delusional.
Love is everlasting. Love knows no limitation; love without condition. Love is something you see, you feel, you hear, and you believe. Just for an example, on online dating sites. You don't love a person you just met online because you don't know him or her better. You may know him/her based on their stories but it will never reveal their real personality. Infatuation, yes indeed, is delusional. We tend to believe on something unreal. Sometimes, we already know that it isn't real but we are still blinded by our feelings. Wake up! Don't be blinded by your feelings or emotions. Time to open your eyes and accept the reality.

5. Love is partnership but infatuation is one sided. 

Love stem from two strangers that gradually invest feelings and bonded by trust. Love is a give and take relationship. Love is never one sided. Love is partnership that brings out the best in each other. Infatuation is one sided. One sided love affair never works and never will. It is not openly reciprocated. Love is "US" while Infatuation is "I".

6. Love is acceptance but infatuation is disappointment. 

When you love, all the good and bad things are accepted. All the flaws are faced and accepted. Even during the most embarrassing situation, it never changed how much you love him/her. Nothing makes you love that particular person less. Infatuation comes along with disappointment. There is what you called "TURN OFF" because you suddenly lose interest about him/her. Maybe because you have seen the real them or there is something that made you dislike him/her.

7. Love is holistic but infatuation focuses mainly on one aspect. 

Love sees the inner and outer beauty of one person. When you love someone, you don't just love them because of their looks, their talents, etc. but rather you love everything about them. Infatuation on the other hand, you just like them because they are good looking. They have six pack abs. They are the hottest. They can fulfill your wants and desires. But real love will always fulfill your needs and dreams in your life.

8. Love is a real thing but infatuation is fairy tale.

You tend to compare one person on some fictional or romantic based movies. But no! We are all unique. Those are just man made characters. Love is real, IT IS SOMETHING REAL. It never comes from any most romantic movie you have ever seen. You both create your own stories and should never compare to any chick flicks. When you are infatuated, you tend to imagine things, things beyond reality! Wake up!!!!! You might missed to see the real love because of dreaming about the man or woman you want in life.

9. Love survives but infatuation glosses.

Love is something worth fighting for. It makes you survive to any odds that come into your way. It make you face the reality where in love never comes easy. But love makes you stronger. Infatuation on the other hand make you believe that everything's all right. But don't be stupid! Don't be blinded by your hopes. Infatuation makes you believe that it is magical and true but it isn't. Love conquers all.

10. Love produces security but infatuation, insecurity. 

Love makes you realize to be yourself, that you don't have to pretend as anyone just to make you feel good to your partner. Love is just simply standing in front of your partner wearing the most comfortable clothes you have and no make up at all. Love makes you not compare yourself to anyone but infatuation does. Infatuation makes you feel like everyday is competition; that you have to be at your best for your partner and that is why you feel insecure. Never compare yourself to anyone except from the previous you. 

11. Love motivates but infatuation distracts.

Love makes you feel a better person from yesterday. It inspires you. It motivates you. Love helps you to be better and not for the worse. When you are infatuated, you tend to forget other relevant things in your life. You have now your focus. Unlike love, it is extensive. Everything that is connected and related to your love is now relevant to you. 

12. Love is permanent but infatuation is temporary.

It is ironic because we all know that everything is temporary but love will always be love. It only differs on how we feel it and how you show it. Love is permanent. Once you are in loved, it will take a long time to forget someone but infatuation is temporary. You can easily get over with someone. Infatuation shows no progression with in a relationship. Everything is temporary in infatuation but love will always stay the same. 

13.  Love is selfless but infatuation is selfish.

Love is about giving. Love is not about expecting something in return. Love knows when to sacrifice or not. Love knows when to end. On the other hand, infatuation wants to you do things for your own happiness without thinking for the happiness of the other person. Infatuation makes you do things to feed up your fantasies and happiness; that you derive to any personal pleasure. Love is passion. Love is inspiration. Infatuation is all about possession and obsession.

At some point in our life, we tend to get infatuated several times before we find the real love.  Always remember, if we love, we use our heart but in making decision we use our mind. Don't let your decisions in life be driven by emotions. Sometimes, we fail due to the choices we made. So before you enter on something serious, always ask yourself if you are already ready to accept all flaws and consequences brought by the choice you made.

The next time you meet a person whom you like, don't worry if it's love or infatuation because I believe it will soon tell you. Just go with the flow. Enjoy life. Enjoy being in love or infatuated.

One thing that make love and infatuation similar is, they can both hurt you but not destroy you. Distraction is a choice but pain is inevitable. You just have to keep in mind, which is worth all the pain, if it's LOVE or INFATUATION?




- SLENUJ